18 minutes before I teach for another hour, before I catch the train home and thrust myself into being a mommy. This is the time I have to journal, to contemplate, to dream, to flush it out, to feel, to think, to play... 18 minutes.
It struck me this morning while I was teaching my songwriting class... these students, while they have other classes and jobs at starbucks, and music therapy practicums, and socializing... they have a whole week to journal, really chew on the song prompt of the week. How jealous I am of that time to walk the city streets, daydreaming about song topics, ideas... how jealous I am of the space in their brains not yet filled up with worrying about children, mortgages, home improvement projects, IEP meetings, playdates, date nights, babysitters, etc, etc, etc.
So all i have is this now 13 minutes left to myself. I am clinging to this 13 minutes like my life depends on it, because it kinda does. The time to sit alone with my thoughts, my daydreams, to email my band in hopes of getting us back at the Lizard Lounge in the next few months...time to remember who I am at my core. Exhale.
I'll take these pockets of time and grab my journal or my book or my singing straw... if I'm lucky, some days all three of those things... Cuz this is the time I've got. And I'll take it.