into my cave and be an artist. I hit this point every semester - halfway through, I've given all
I have, and today i daydream about being on stage at the Lizard Lounge, all ears (well, MOST ears) on me, listening. Listening to me sing my heart out, play my heart out- Giving themselves back to me. I daydream about sitting at my piano, with my guitar at my side, going back and forth between the two in my sunny dining room, working on song ideas- playing with words and melodies and ideas.
Teaching requires power and energy from the other side of my brain, and while I love it, and I do get so much back from my students, I just need a different kind of emotional food today. Today, I don't feel like telling people how to do it- I just want to do it myself. I see girls on the streets of our back bay campus, in long skirts and high top doc martins, carting guitars around and I remember how that was my college wardrobe exactly. I'm feeling more like that artist/student today than the 40 year old teacher-grown-up that I need to be to survive most days. I want to dress weird and walk around humming my next song idea.
I'm holding back my little artist tears all day today- giving a first listen to the new Ingrid Michaelson... feeling taken care of by her music today- and daydreaming about what my next song will sound like.